Top 5 Reasons Why My Grandmother Should Be Jameis Winston’s Body Guard

While eating dinner, the subject of football season quickly approaching came up — of course. Mema, my grandmother, then volunteered her time to be Jameis Winston’s personal body guard.

In honor of #5, here are the top five reasons why she is qualified:

  • She doubles as a chef and makes better crab legs than Publix.
  • Who would mess with a grandmother, especially one with this much spunk?

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  • She wears matching head gear.

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  • Mema has a long standing history of cooking meals for the Pi Kappa Alpha fraternity — since 1976 to be exact.
  • If she’s gonna do it then, she’s gonna do it BIG then… and she’s done it for longer.

Seriously, the offer is out there. We will respond to calls, texts, tweets or flares.